The End of my Year Studying in Japan Pt. 3: 8 Life Lessons I learned from Study Abroad
Grace Gettig
Oh man. This was the hardest of this three-part series to write. I took some time to really reflect on what I learned other than language during my study abroad. Here are some things study abroad has helped me realize:
1. The World Has Much to See (And I Want to See it)
The world is full of opportunities. I’ve lived in Michigan my whole life and didn’t go on as many trips than other kids when I was younger, but now I’ve gotten a taste of what the world has to offer, and I want it.
I was lucky enough to be able to travel to Kyoto, Nara, Hakone, Nikko, Shizuoka, and even South Korea. I saw such amazing and beautiful places and met amazing people. I know that Japan has so many more places worth seeing, plus I want to revisit where I’ve already been. The two big places I really want to go to next time I go visit Japan are Iwate and Hokkaido Prefectures.
Having other international students as your classmates means also learning about their countries. In the near future I hope to visit England, Germany, Australia, Mexico, and of course, Japan, to visit my friends and learn more about their countries.
2. Don’t Care What Others Think
Being a White American woman in Japan really made me stand out from everyone else. And so, I would get a lot of people staring at me. I’m already a pretty self-conscious person, so that just made it way worse. Since I naturally stood out, I wanted to do whatever I could to blend in.
You know what though? It really doesn’t matter. Why should I give a flying crap about what some middle-aged Japanese businessman thinks of me? When I realized this, it felt like a burden had been lifted from my shoulders. Of course, don’t go around and do things that would disrespect the culture, but it doesn’t matter what others think if I have dyed gray hair.
This is a big lesson I’m taking back home with me. I don’t need the approval of others. I love myself, so why should I care what others think?
3. Independence
Before studying abroad, I hadn’t lived on my own. After turning 18, I moved in with my grandparents who graciously let me stay with them while I pursued a university degree (thank you!!!). Living in my single-room dorm in Japan has really forced me to become more independent.
I’ve cooked all of my own meals, I cleaned my room every week (or so), and paid my bills. I’ve had to do a lot living alone. But I like it.
I honestly feel that I’ve grown up a lot in Japan. I feel much more prepared to move into my first apartment when I get back to America.
4. There’s Much to be Learned From People of Different Backgrounds And Cultures
As I mentioned earlier, since I had students from other countries as my classmates, I learned about not only Japan, but also their countries and cultures. I think this is a highly underrated fact about study abroad.
During discussions in class, we would all share different facts about our countries, what is was like growing up there, the cultural norms, etc. I love hearing different perspectives from people that come from a different background than me.
5. Keeping Negativity in Your Life is Useless
Let me just say this: Toxic people are not worth having in your life. You’re wasting your time and theirs. You’ll thank yourself later.
Studying abroad helped me realize what impact different people have in my life. For the longest time, I would worry about people leaving me. I wanted people to like me so that I could feel like I fit in. I later realized I was what I now call, a chameleon. I would reflect back what other people were saying or doing. Oh, you like that thing? Me too. You have this opinion on something? What a coincidence. Me too.
After reflecting on this, I realized that I needed to stop this behavior, and start being me. At first I was worried that others might not like me, but then I thought, why would I want to be friends with anyone that doesn’t like me for me? Short answer: I don’t. And you shouldn’t either.
After thinking about what I think I want from life, I started evaluating my relationships. I had several people that when I would hang out with them, I found myself doing things that I now know I was not okay with. They are very negative people, and they just bring you down and make you start to feel like the world sucks. And so, I decided that if they aren’t bringing anything positive to my life (and I can tell you that they don’t think that much of me either), I don’t need them around. They can go be negative with someone else. Not this girl.
I’m not saying that these are bad people, just not the right people for me. I still wish them the best with their lives. Maybe it’s about time to think about what people are bringing to your life…
6. Take Care of Your Mental Health
First of all, it’s okay to take a mental health day. Let’s say it again for the ones in the back, IT’S OKAY TO TAKE A MENTAL HEALTH DAY. Ahem. Thank you.
If you’re feeling stressed out, or your anxiety has got you all over the place, or you just can’t handle being around people for a little bit, it’s totally okay to take a day off and take care of yourself. We call in sick when we have a cold, so why should it be any different for your mental health?
Being abroad and without my counselor, I had some pretty rough times. There were many times that I felt overloaded with my homework, studying for tests, friend obligations, and volunteering. I don’t think I fully realized all of what I was putting myself through until I had an anxiety attack last winter.
That made me realize what state I was in. I then set up a plan for completing my homework, a schedule for studying, and started to say no to opportunities if I really felt that it wasn’t a good idea. This helped a lot.
I still have times though when I just can’t (nobody’s perfect), so then I need to take a mental health day. Don’t let yourself get to the point that I got to and have an anxiety attack. Take care of yourself. You’ll be a much better student or employee if you do so.
7. Nature is Necessary (For My Sanity)
My favorite park near my dorm. This stray cat is well-taken care of by the locals.
I’m so glad that I studied abroad to a university in the countryside, because after going into Tokyo to hang out with friends, I quickly found that I am not a city person.
The bustling people, cars wizzing past, bright advertisements everywhere you look. It’s too much for me to handle sometimes and I start to get irritable.
When I go out into nature, it lets me focus on my own thoughts. When I’m in the city, there’s too much stimuli for me to hear them. I think everyone needs to take a few minutes and go to a park, or go for a drive in the countryside.
8. Appreciate Where You Come From
Visiting different cities and countries is awesome, but take a minute to think about the awesome stuff in your hometown. I’m sure there are things that you don’t even know about.
I had many Japanese people ask me about my hometown and what’s cool about it. I struggled to answer, but when I asked my Japanese friends that studied abroad to my university what they thought, they had no problem naming off interesting places in my town.
Also, talking to other international students, especially Asian students, they all had such pride for their hometowns that I really want to go visit them someday. I loved to hear them talk about it.
I want to inspire other people to visit my hometown, so after I return to the U.S. I’m making it my mission to explore my town and see all of what it has to offer. I’m super excited for this!
Categories: Japan, Year abroad, Life Lessons, Lists, Comfort Zone